Pre-Op Day

 

Written early morning, January 25, 2024

Today was rough emotionally. I'm cleared for surgery in the morning. My husband is sleeping beside me, I should be too but I can't sleep. We wake in just a few short hours to head to Duke Cancer Center for my surgery.

Today we rushed from one building at Duke to the next, first for pre-op and a head X-ray, then to another for MRI and lastly the Cancer Center for my appointment with Dr. Friedman. 

While we waited for me to be called back for the MRI, Jerome held my hand in his, rubbing my hand gently to calm me while I laid my head on his shoulder. I HATE getting an MRI. 

After being called back and getting an iv in (for contrast and sedation for the MRI) two doctors pulled back the curtain and let me know I wouldn't be getting an MRI, I was relieved. They work with Dr. Friedman. While the nurse removed the iv, one of the doctors placed a towel on my shoulder and the other stood in front of me, talking to me, I think to distract me. The doctor by my shoulder started pushing around hard on the tumor area on my head, it hurt, then he started doing something with my head that I couldn't figure out, so I asked. He was shaving places in my hair to add markers for the CAT scans and surgery tomorrow. He told me it was to help guide them with markers through the surgery. I wasn't prepared for it. It wasn't until they walked me out for the CAT scan, and I looked over my shoulder to see long strands of my hair in the trash that it really set in. This was really happening. They will be shaving the rest of the side of my hair in the morning for surgery.

We had planned to go to a nice dinner that evening after all the pre-op appointments were completed. But after seeing all the bright blue markers all over my head I was very hesitant to go anywhere. Jerome and Aunt Pam made me feel better and confident enough to go out, so we went to dinner, blue markers on my head and all. She treated us to a delicious Italian dinner at Maggianno's Little Italy and we finished it off by sharing a slice of chocolate cake.

We came back to where we were staying and began packing for the hospital stay. 

Jerome helped me in the shower, he could see I was struggling to wash my hair with all the blue markers in it and he could see I was holding in the fear and the tears. He climbed in the shower with me, held me as I cried, and helped me wash my hair. He knows me, he knows what I am feeling, and when I let my fears take over me, he has been everything to me throughout all of this. 

It's almost 2am and we are to wake up at 5am. I guess I should try to sleep a little.

Thank you, everyone, for all of the encouraging words of hope and prayers, they are truly felt. The craniectomy surgery begins at 9am and will last 3 hours. 

With Love,

Amber Hope